Well what a week it has been… this could be called Matt’s Mishaps Two – but as I am writing it I thought it might look a bit unfair to apportion any blame…

Last Monday – remember it was the 13^th… well Matt is not superstitious but we managed to do the following in one day:  have a car accident, nearly burn Reg down and become ill.  Quite good going.

The day started with us leaving Tallahassee and I had read that we should visit Panama City Beach in Florida.  Heaven knows why – it was the Floridian Blackpool or Great Yarmouth. Really horrid and tacky so we drove through and out the other side until we came to Camp Helen.  This was a former holiday camp for a textile firm in Alabama who sent their workers to these chalets for fishing and swimming every summer.  Such enlightened times until it all went wrong in the 1980’s and they went bust.   Not so much Hi de Hi as Low de Low!

What was amazing was the sand on the beach. It was beautifully white and clear – just like icing sugar and we were both rather taken with it.  

On our way to our site that afternoon we were driving along a single lane road – the 30A for any anoraks out there, when it came to a light at a junction. The person behind – Gabrielle as we know her to be – became rather impatient and tried to undertake Matt in the lanes for the turn and hit us.   Needless to say, we were a bit shocked. Reg shrugged off the damage to his wheel arch and hubcap – but her car had a hefty dent in the side.

Accidents are very boring at home and we can report they are just as dull here.  Only amusing parts were that no one when taking a statement from us could understand Matt saying ‘wheel’ in his estuary/Oz accent and an indicator is not an indicator it is a blinker!  

By the time we got to the site I was developing a raging sore throat so Matt very kindly said he would cook.  I started to feel worse and asked if all was ok as Reg filled with smoke.  “All under control” I was told.  By now the smoke alarm is ringing, our eyes are watering and we are about to catch fire when we realise that the enchiladas are not browning on the top – they are being incinerated on the bottom due to the design of the oven.  In the panic to avert the fire the oven gloves were burnt to a crisp and the table has a very slight imprint of the oven glove pattern on it!

Our third disaster – the cold raged all week.  I got better and then Matt went down with it.  Valentine’s Day was spent on the shelf – just like old times for me – but I mean the shelf above the drivers cabin.  I felt terrible and Matt was bedridden a day or so later.  We have no idea how the two of us caught something like that… Maybe it is Zika?!

So, we had three days on the Panhandle of Florida.  Much chillier.  We went on Wednesday to Henderson Beach – not nearly warm enough to sit on it, so had lunch in the car park as you do in a rv and braced ourselves for a walk in the cloud and wind.  Stunning beach again and just as we fancied a cuppa – we stumbled upon a café where a man was singing. The sun came out for precisely an hour and it was magical.

We also went to the National Naval Air Museum at Pensacola and saw the types of planes that were in Top Gun and loads of others.  It is a great museum for plane fans and as you drive on to the base and show your ID we looked a bit silly in Reg.  Al Qaeda coming for holiday perhaps.  There is also a lighthouse on the base which was quite a climb up.  Met a Democrat at the top – but as he described his wife as someone with ‘benefits’ we are not sure he counts! 

By the weekend we drove further west to Mobile.  Lovely site – we camped under 60ft pine trees, surrounded by water and yes admittedly the slight hum of the interstate.   I got very excited as I saw some beavers on a walk whist Matt was dying back in Reg.  Just like the Fast Show I tried to show him where they were and ‘insisted on complete silence’ as we approached the magical spot.  He coughed and they were gone!  Charlie Higson could not have done it better…  

On Saturday, we went into Mobile in Reg – narrowly avoiding a 12ft tunnel – phew!  That would have been a mishap and would have rather curtailed this blog.   We parked up and started to notice a lot of commotion.  Well they were having their own Mardi Gras – but as we are going to New Orleans I will not elaborate at this stage.  Of all the towns in the all the world I have to say I rather liked Mobile. 

Yesterday we drove over the border back into Mississippi and are camped in Buccaneer State Park.  This park and the town that we cycled to today – Bay St Louis bore the brunt of Hurricane Katrina when she hit land in Mississippi.  Even nearly 12 years on you can see the devastation along the coast.  Lots of broken piers and empty plots of land where the buildings have never been replaced.  Strange to see it today to think of the havoc that happened here.  The surge in water was 30ft high and there are no cliffs – so a bit like Sandbanks being swept away.   That said it is again rather lovely and because of the hurricane there is a casino down the road which is now built on land as the old mobile, floating ones just became battering rams in the hurricane.  We will not be going there with our luck at the moment!

o, we head tomorrow to our park just outside New Orleans.  Really excited to see Matt’s brother Andy on Friday and H and Steve on Saturday. 

Have a great week and we plan to get in the words of another Fast Show character …verrry, verrry drunk!  A x

 

 

The following video was shot on the GoPro Hero4 Session that B, Tim, Sophie and Ollie gave me for a present last year.

It shows the size of most other RV’s in the commercial camps in America, in particular how big the ‘Fifth Wheels’ (caravans to most of us) are that people travel in, it also shows the ‘toys’ that many people have: boats, cars, quad bikes, golf carts.  People seem to take everything on tour with them, which demonstrates how ‘light’ the Bradburys really travel.

For those of our friends who are concerned we’ve become naturalists (or is that naturists?) we can reassure you we have returned to our customary binge drinking ways with our friends, Nic and Russ and I for one woke with a particularly killing hangover after too many G&T’s, beers and red wine.  We stayed with them until Tuesday, an extra day to allow us to spend time by the pool and have some great steaks cooked by Russ on their barbecue.

As all good things come to an end and so we didn’t overstay our welcome, we set off in Reg, who had spent the long weekend being gawped at by the residents of Nic & Russ’ community (why is there a large RV on our community in Florida? Who would want to travel away from this climate?).  We drove back on ourselves to Fort Myers to enable us to visit Sanibel Island as recommended way back by Bruce at Krenek RV where we bought Reg from.  It was really lovely to catch up with Nic and Russ who were charming and generous hosts and hopefully they’ll visit us wherever we next wash up.

We drove across the causeway (bridge really as unless there’s a tsunami it’s unlikely to ever be covered by the tide again) to Sanibel, which is another beautiful barrier island with large houses, condominiums and a large local reserve.  We took the Thomson Twins and cycled around the beautiful beaches and along the wildlife reserve.  This gave me an opportunity for another ‘Matt’s Mishaps’ as while wondering where Alex had got to, I rode into a branch of a tree causing me to fall off, swear vehemently so that an old gentleman offered me assistance and to end up with severe grazing on my forehead meaning I looked like I’d been in a punch up!  Fortunately pride didn’t come before the fall as I’m telling you all about it now with a scab still on my forehead.

During the second day at Fort Myers, I invented the pastime of Bikram Shopping where you walk to the local supermarket in the heat of the day with a rucksack.  You then purchase about 20 kg of fruit and veg to put in the rucksack and continue to the supermarket, purchase washing powder and other assorted items and carry them in shopping bags in your hands with the rucksack still on your back all the way back to the RV.  By the time I reached Alex, who had been spending her own time in a sauna (more commonly called the laundromat of the campsite) I was completely drenched in sweat and seemingly expiring before her eyes.  Fortunately, large amounts of liquids revived me and I didn’t suffer from dehydration too much.

After Fort Myers we set off back up towards the Florida Panhandle, stopping at St Petersburg where we didn’t get a chance to sight see as we needed to push on and continued the next day up to Crystal Rivers.  We stopped briefly at a restaurant called The Lighthouse along Hwy 41, despite there being no sign of the sea (or a lighthouse come to that) for lunch.  The RV park at Crystal Rivers was in a beautiful setting on a small river and on the day after, Saturday, we cycled the 16km to and from the beautiful beach to look out at an enormous coal fired power station.

After the beach we set off again north and had a beautiful three and an half hour drive up to Coe Landing, just outside Tallahassee, the state capital of Florida.  We have spent Sunday walking in Lake Talquin State Forest, overlooking the Ochlockonee River which was beautiful followed by walking around Tallahassee’s old Capitol building and having a coffee in the ‘stoodent’ area of the city.  Wouldn’t visit again but pleasant enough city.  Have also spent the day being bitten aggressively by mosquitos and ‘no seeums’ which are persistent little f*&$£”s and I’m itching all over. 

That’s all folks, next few days we’re in the Panhandle then crossing Alabama and Mississippi on our way to New Orleans and Mardi Gras.

The cliff-hanger we left you with was whether we were going to get into the State Park on the Florida Keys… Bahia Honda…. Oh the suspense.  The answer was NO!  they were completely full.  So, for the first time we were in Reg with nowhere to stay… (drama building).

Best thing to do in that situation is stop and have some lunch which we did at a place called Island Grill on Islamadora.  Matt had the messiest fish tacos ever – he needed a wet suit to eat them.

Our fall-back position was to drive 120 miles back into the everglades and stay at the Flamingo campsite.  They had spaces without electric or water hook-ups, but we can be self-sufficient for a few days – so we went for it.  Flamingo is really interesting as it is in the part of the park that was closed to the public for three years after Hurricane Katrina and the lodge that B & Tim stayed in years ago, has been demolished and is where it stood is completely back to nature now – bushes and trees. 

Flamingo feels like the end of the world in the best sense of the word.  It is timeless and so peaceful. We loved being back in the Everglades and and got up early every day (even setting our alarm for 6.30 am – just in case any of you reading think we have become slackers on this trip!).

First morning we went on a boat trip to try and see the crocodiles as Flamingo is the sea water part of the Everglades.  It was so early and cold that they were not cooperating, but we saw osprey catching fish and going back to their nests, a small group of dolphins and a roseate spoonbill which is often mistaken for a flamingo.  It was freezing though and my lips went a bit blue which Shaun and Marie have seen before when we have been walking – so we quickly had coffee and pizza back on land whilst we thawed out.  The restaurant overlooks some mud flats and again the bird watching was of the highest quality.

We then got to see the crocodiles who had now woken up and some more manatees again.  Enormous and so close up.  

That afternoon we went a bit mad and did a really long cycle ride – captured on the go pro which involved us getting bitten to death by mosquitos and putting our feet down in all the muddy bits and getting thoroughly hot and sweaty.  

Next morning we did a guided bird walk with a lovely ranger called Christi. We saw 30 odd species and most were just in the car park!  What was also a bit of fun was that when it came to drive to a different area we cadged a lift off some people from Pennsylvania.  As soon as they got in they asked if we could take something back to Britain with us when we leave… we said yes of course – what was it and they said Trump!  Big surprise as these are the most vocal critics we have met.  Needless to say, that for all of us that love Matthew – this was his cue to say that he thought things might turn out all right and we needed to give Donald a chance.  To say that boy would argue with himself is an understatement.  It cracks me up even now thinking about it!  For months he has been looking for these people… and then he finds them and argues the toss!

We tried canoeing on Thursday morning in the aptly names Nine Mile Pond.  The ranger made it clear that we would need to be tolerant of one another as we had one canoe per couple and we would be weaving in and out of the mangroves.  We had a  few crossed words but generally managed to get round with just a few collisions into the vegetation.  We might have slightly damaged the eco system – but it should be ok for anyone else wanting to visit!  Incredibly beautiful and tranquil. An experience never to be forgotten.

On our way out of the park we stopped at Shark Valley Trail, along the Tamiami Trail (state highway 41 for anyone interested).  Anyone who has been there knows that this is an area that it is a 15 mile round trip to a lookout point. It was like a greatest hits tour for us – we saw everything again – gators, baby gators, herons, egrets, turtles, etc.  Getting better at spotting things we enjoyed the cycle and had a well earned ice cream at the end of it.

That night we stayed in a commercial site – back to electricity and water so enjoyed the luxury all over again of an all singing and dancing Reg. 

Friday was a change from being covered in insect repellent and sweat – we went into Naples and had a great lunch by the harbour.  We looked like respectable holiday makers rather than something out of the Blacks catalogue!  

It was good to see Naples as I have always heard so much about it.  It is very exclusive in the area by the pier.  Huge houses and proper old American money.  Good to see, very laid back and a complete change from the Everglades.

After Naples we came up to just south of Tampa.  We are staying with Nichola and Russell. Matt used to work with Nichola at the Bank of England.  As we pulled up on Saturday lunch time they had the most delicious gin and tonics poured and frankly we have not looked back since!!

We have been completely spoilt.  We have a proper bedroom, our own bathroom and unlimited Wi-Fi and electricity as I type this. Reg has been parked in the boat car park in their development and we have thought of him a couple of times as we get into the hot tub with a drink… but not that much!!

We leave tomorrow but we may have gone soft.  It has been the most wonderful experience. Nic and Russ have made us so welcome and we have me some of their neighbours who are lovely.  We were invited to a Superbowl party last night – 100 people in the most beautiful home and it was humbling how welcome everyone made us.  We will never forget how much fun we have had here.  The match was great, as was Lady GaGa and rather like the Cubs in the autumn now we understand NFL a bit better than we could ever have hoped!

As Matt finished last time – we were in the Everglades and as I write tonight we are back in them.  Anyone who has been here might be surprised by that as there is only one road in and out.  We are not lost!  It is because there has been so much to do, as well as having spent the weekend in the Florida Keys.

So, after collecting Reg we drove into the Everglades and did the Anhinga Trail which is a boardwalk, one mile long.  In all the books it said you could not fail to see wildlife and armed with our new binoculars (thank you Shaun for the recommendation) and our new camera – we were a perfect target for a mugging!  But compared to some of the equipment people were producing we looked rather modest!

On the trail we saw amazing things – just as they said.  Ibis, herons, anhingas and a purple gallinule on the bird front and then turtles and plenty of alligators.  They were all asleep in the sun at the end of the boardwalk. There must have been about ten of them, some draped over each other and one with all his legs at ninety degrees to his body which was very amusing.  A little later we saw some swimming with their trademark eyes out of the water.  They are very beautiful in a sinister way.  I recalled all the handbags I have bought with that pattern on them!!

It was the most wonderful introduction to the Everglades and I know everyone who has been here will understand that it is just captivating.  Although it is of course very flat – the vastness of it is beautiful and the contrast and tranquillity after Miami and America generally is superb. 

We came back the next day early on to get a pitch on one of the official sites – Long Pine Key campsite.  No hook ups – so we are getting good at being self-contained for water and power.  We got on our bikes and did a trail to a lake – hot work as it was in the mid 80’s, but gorgeous. 

In the afternoon, we had one of the highlights of the trip.  We did the Slough Slog which is where the ranger takes a party of 15 into a dome which is a flooded depression in the ground where cypress trees will grow in a circle.  The experience was awesome and I kid you not the group were all ready to high five as it was very surprising from the outset. You had to wear lace up shoes and long trousers and be prepared to be wet up to your thigh.  We were given a stick to walk with, so we set off into the dome. 

Everyone was very giggly at the start as mud started to go over our ankles but after five minutes when we were properly wading at the bottom of the dome – a sense of calm and serenity prevailed.  The water was clear, and not at all smelly.  Alligators will not go into domes as they are tightly packed with trees so not enough space for them to wiggle their tails – so we were assured it was safe.  It was one of those very precious experiences where we are reminded of how exciting nature is.  No one would ever have had the nerve to walk in there if you had not been told it was safe and you soon were totally immersed in walking around the trees and seeing the wildlife. Completely peaceful and a good reminder of how all of this wildlife goes on without us thinking or being aware of it.

We saw ibis in the trees, wood storks and the highlight were two barred owls guarding a nest where one of the eggs had fallen on to the ground. 

Everyone was buzzing when we came out and we then drove to the mahogany canopy where the trees grow over as cover for other species.  Saw a wonderful hawk as we went in with a peachy coloured breast.  We have a lot of birding knowledge to acquire!

Wednesday night we went to a brilliant talk about the Everglades that the rangers put on at the outdoor amphitheatre and it was all about how the Everglades are completely ruined… Man’s interference with water in Florida means that all we are really seeing is the after effects of having messed it up by altering the flow of water from Lake Okeechobee near Orlando.   Even in these more enlightened times where they are trying to reinstate some of the water that would naturally have been in the Everglades – it will only be achieved now by digging trenches and installing gates. 

People did not realise in previous generations but what a complete shame. That said it is still so beautiful. The talk was called ‘the Everglades – America’s ugliest national park’.  The ranger made the point that compared to mountains, redwoods and geysers you have to look for the beauty in the Everglades.  It is not sexy, being no higher than 8ft – but well worth seeing.

Next day on our way we went to – Pa-hay-okee, a lookout point – yet again we marvelled at the wet prairie and watched the birds.  Matt is now taking over to tell you about the Keys …

After the tranquillity of the Everglades (apart from the attention of several billion mosquitos of course, the visitor centre had their level at bearable, the chart goes up to unbelievable!) we drove back through the numerous nursery farms (i.e. growing pot plants for the world it seems) around Homestead on to Highway 1 which runs from the Canadian border down to Key West and unfortunately for much of its length resembles a strip mall.  Our destination was Key Largo and the Key Largo Kampground RV Park as we couldn’t get into the local Florida state park.  The site was largely populated with permanent ‘caravans’ for Sun Birders, northern states old people who travel down to Florida for the winter.  This meant the plots were jealously guarded by devices to protect individual property rights leading to tight corners around the site and a minor dispute between Reg and a pot plant. 

Having snugly parked Reg we got on the Thompson Twins and cycled to investigate the local John Pennekamp Coral Reef state park the first Coral Reef state park in the US, i.e. most of it is under water.  So, as we aren’t Jesus (more of him later) we booked ourselves onto the snorkelling trip out to the local reef for the next day.

Fortunately, the next day dawned bright and windless, a blessing after the day before, and we set off for our ‘cruise’ around 9:30.  It’s worth noting that Alex hadn’t snorkelled before, apart from an attempt on holiday as a child in Portugal when she and her mother wore their glasses under their goggles, so there was some trepidation amongst our party.  This led to the additional hiring of wetsuits to add buoyancy and extra warmth and the fear amongst others in our party we would end up looking like to portly seals.

We boarded the boat to take us out and got into conversation with a couple who turned out to be similar in age who had also just bought their RV and were travelling around Florida for the same period.  Michelle and John are from Long Island and were great company who we also went for drinks with later and also met for dinner.

After a safety briefing from Dean and some expert advice on how to snorkel proficiently we arrived at the diving point on the reef.  It’s here that Jesus appears again, literally in fact as at some point a group of locals had decided to emulate Genoa in Italy and place a life size statue of him atop the reef for divers and snorkelers to admire.  We were warned, however, not to hug Jesus as after his placement he had become home to a number of ‘Fire’ corals that if touched create a strong burning sensation that takes a time to dissipate. 

So, suitably dressed as seals, with a lifejacket on top to add even more buoyancy we set off to meet one member of the holy trinity.  I have to say that although it was odd to see a holy figure cast in concrete atop a beautiful natural sight it was a good way to get orientated in the water as the water was clear to at least 20 feet and he acted as a good marker for snorkelling the rest of the reef.

After our encounter with the son of god we went on to see a large number of beautiful and diverse sea creatures, including shoals of brightly coloured fish, big blue and green groupers, parrot fish, several menacing and eerily still barracuda and a small ray.  Alex’s worries proved groundless and we both spent the whole one and an half hour gliding over the top of the water admiring the scenes below.  To help Alex find me out of the group of us, I kindly had my bald spot atop my head plainly on display.

After drinks watching the sun go down with our new friends at Jimmy Johnson’s Big Chill restaurant (he is a Super Bowl winning ex-coach of the Dallas Cowboys, although funnily enough he doesn’t seem to work in his restaurant) we went to sleep exhausted but exhilarated by a day of admiring the beauty of the natural world.

And on to Key West, billed as one of the big ‘party’ and ‘alternate’ towns in the US.  We stayed at Boyd’s campground, another large commercial site, this time with a little more space with our site being handily placed next to the communal toilet and shower block.  This lead to being awoken one night by people using the hand dryers at 1:15 in the morning which I took to be possible robbers.

Our problem with Key West was the weather, after going for drinks at Sloppy Joe’s on the Saturday night of our arrival, Sunday dawned very wet.  As this is meant to be the dry season it was disappointing to say the least, we spent most of the day doing mundane tasks (i.e. laundry and cleaning) and only once the rain stopped around 3pm did we get a chance to go back into town to sight see.  The principal attraction of Key West is that it is the southernmost point of the continental US.  This fact only holds up if you ignore the fact that the Florida Keys are actually a string of islands joined by an highway, but never ones to be put off by such things, the locals claim it as the southernmost point in any case.  We went on a tour of the Hemingway house, where he lived with his second wife (he had four) and up to 70 cats.  He believed that cats brought good luck and consequently collected them, there are still 43 cats on the property which are descendants of those he owned.  The house is interesting in its own right as the largest residential property on the key that was built originally by someone we would euphemistically call a ‘salvage’ expert but who was basically a wrecker, i.e. someone who profited from salvaging valuable goods from ships regularly shipwrecked off the island.  We also watched the sunset with approximately 5,000 other tourists, took in a couple more bars, notably the Green Parrot and walked down to the old navy yard. 

The next day we woke early to see if we could get a cancellation at Bahia Honda state park, that will have to wait for next weeks thrilling instalment from South Florida ….